February 2, 2023

Do Not Engage

When you're about to enter a conflict, pause. You can choose not to.

How you respond to the situation determines whether it becomes a full-blown argument. You can't control someone else's temper and lack of restraint, but you can control yours. Will you let yourself submit to anger?

“Remember always: As wrong as they are, as annoying as it is, it takes two for a real conflict to happen. As the Stoics said, when we are offended, when we fight, we are complicit. We have chosen to engage. We have traded self-control for self-indulgence. We’ve allowed our cooler head to turn hot—even though we know hot heads rarely make good decisions.” - Ryan Holiday, Discipline Is Destiny

Do you want to be the person who's easily rattled? Or do you want to be calm, composed, unbothered? Don't give other people the power to provoke you.

You might think that outbursts out of passion is excusable, even acceptable, but that also means that you're letting passion control you.

This doesn't mean you should avoid disagreements and difficult conversations. Some things you can let go, but there are times for making a stand. For pushing back to protect your values. That's okay. Don't let anything corrupt your integrity. But remain calm and collected. It should be a well though out response, not emotional, impulsive behavior.