December 15, 2022confidence

Do the Work First

Have you met people who carry themselves so well, so sure and confident, talking with authority, seemingly so eloquent, and then for you to later realize that they don't actually make sense?

That when you dissect what they've just said and ask for elaboration, they fall short. They couldn't give you a clear answer.

And then you conclude: bullshit.

Sometimes, we smell it right away. Within the first few minutes of the conversation, we realize that they don't really know what they're talking about. But at surface-level, they look like they're experts.

And that's why I was never comfortable with faking it 'til you make it.

It feels wrong. Pretentious. Scammy.

I know confidence will take you places, but do you have to pretend like you know more than you do? Do you need this huge facade hiding the fact that you're lacking?

That fake confidence might get you a first meeting or two, but it won't be enough to keep relationships. It will ruin relationships. You set expectations you cannot meet. That's bound to end in disaster. And then word will spread.

Confidence is important, but it has to come from real strength.

We can be confident in what we know, and humble and honest about what we don't know. And we must keep learning so that there's more material to be confident about.

We don't need to fake it. We just need to do the work first—be knowledgeable, be good at what we do, be better. And then, confidence will be easier to summon.